Thursday, 14 April 2011

Plan D: to go with Plan C, with a couple of extras thrown in.

I blogged last week about the concern of what to do with myself during my break from the children. Previously, when they have been away with their dad on his leave, I have kept out of trouble (...kinda), and done these types of things:

Well, I stole a couple of pics from other events, but this is me having fun, and people I enjoy seeing, who aren't Here. I'm not a hundreds-of-friends girl, (there will only be a handful at my 30th) because I need people around me that I really trust. A few fantastc friends is the way to go for me.

And as much fun as that was, like LOVELY to be spending time in my old life, pre-children, going out, stealing cuddles with nieces, having walks and tea with the parentals, going shopping and being a Lady Wot Lunches with old school friends, I decided that I would stay put this week, Here, and see what I could do about making that life for myself in my new location...well, you know, one step at a time. I had fairly low expectations. (As a side note, have you any idea how happy the creation of that little montage of 'away' photos made me? The answer, if you were unsure, is 'very'. In fact it could probably only be rivalled by the rainbow medicinal goodness that is the Nobbly Bobbly).

So how did we get on? (The Royal 'We' that is...)

We were extremely honest about our situation, and put out the feelers for peops that might be nearby and at a loose end, and then we decided that, yes, we could be a lady of the stay-at-home (or at least, local) variety, and bake and make, and prep for that thing I do that requires prepping, and work a bit, and mooch and be all lovely and independant and fabulous, and the week would fly by.
But in a fleeting panic, and because most of the nice things about my life are organised with the aid of the internet, (I've looked up that link Lucy- I'm gonna be brave and approach a social group!) I did post a heart-felt message to my facebook profile, asking if local friends might want to meet...

You know, the thing about facebook, is that you get a slightly warm feeling of a large circle of people that care, and pass friendly comments and in actual fact would never ring or email, (yeah... I know, but I could do more too) however, they are nevertheless there, in the background. And I'm very grateful that they are, because respond, they did.
Lovely people (from Stoke, to Bedfordshire, to London, to Wales) said 'Awww, we would but we're too far', and the big sister said kind things too. Then two local-er friends said that they would like to, but could only do times that I couldn't, (but I'm still hoping to meet with them soon), then I got an email from a mummy friend who invited me out there and then. She was after a distraction, as her children were also with their dad, and she had an assignment that needed doing. I can be a distraction!

And we went out on our bikes... yes, I was on a bicycle- a vehicle that requires skills that I don't possess. My lovely fella bought me my first real bike of my very own, for my birthday last year, and it seemed like a good time to dust it off and wobble to somewhere, with a sympathetic but better-skilled friend. Thats friend! I have one- Here! We wobbled to a watering hole, and had drinks and talked and talked and shared stories, and found that there are 10 years between us, but life has thrown us all sorts of similar experiences. It was nice- she has a gazillion friends and is usually extremely busy, so it won't happen much, but it was kind of her. I wobbled myself home again, triumphant, to find that the other half was on his way over, unexpectedly (I'd counted him out for most of the week, because he was supposed to be busy with work and family commitments), and we hugged and made dinner.

I had some news in the week, that came in a Brown Envelope of Doom, that made my living room look like this.

Note the lovely blue guitar on the left- he'd been learning Blackbird, at my request, (if you can't do it, pester someone who can, I say...)

He dried the tears, snaffled me up, and took me to the park where he could play and we could eat ice creams, whilst doing sums and sorting my life out. We came back because it got cold and windy, but the thought was there!
He only left me this morning, with the situation, we hope, sorted. Bless him. I didn't ask for that, in fact in my stubborn way, I did suggest he might want to go, and leave me to fight my own battles and get his smile quota from less miserable people! But he ignored me, and took a day or two off work that was owed to him. Rebel.
We've been out and doing stuff every day, and we've been back to his house so I could cuddle his cats, and even though I've been down in the dumps, he's been so lovely. Another cure for that sad-face-feeling? I give you bouncy lambs, in the field opposite his house.

I have my parents visiting on Saturday, and I'm working/ volunteering on Sunday, so really, the empty week hasn't been such a disaster. Its a start. You kinda come through these things stronger, (and closer, where applicable), dont you think?



  1. Good for you for being proactive about getting out and about! I have a lovely image in my head of the two of you wobbling about on your bikes! Have a lovely weekend! xx

  2. Well done on the montage, I don't know how to do them. A girl I knew had 30 of her 'best friends' at her hen do - how can you have 30 best friends?!?! A handful of true friends is better than lots of there when they feel like it friends.
    Hopefully next time you have a week alone you'll feel more confident about it having spent some time alone this week. I spend all my time (when I'm not at work) alone so am used to it and don't give it a second thought. You'll get used to it and it'll make you stronger and more confident. x

  3. Oh you are so lucky you have a 'him' to provide a bit of a distraction. (((hugs)))
    Last summer my smalls went away with their Dad for two weeks and I was beside myself so much that I took myself and my Monster (dog) for a 400 mile drive down to my home town in wales just so not to be alone without them :(
    It's hard. I'd say it gets easier and it does a little bit at a time.
    I just struggle because I have few distractions :)

  4. Well done for "getting out there"! My SIL moved about an hour away and straight away she went on local forums to find mum's in the area so she had people to socialise with.

    Victoria x

  5. Hope you're okay hun! I think you have the right attitude! Just hang in there! You've got a lot of support! xxx

  6. I love your super positive post! I love your montage of photos. It's so cute! Keep going and you'll get there! xxx

    PS: I love a Nobbly Bobbly too! xxx